Video is the new Photo Album

This was one of the first video compilations I've made where I thought: huh, that was a decent job. I mean, really, this iMovie thing really works. As we are now a generation of YouTube viewers...seems to make sense that we resort to videos as a way to reminisce, and remember. 

I also can see the evolution of the movies I've made so far. In the beginning, eager to learn all of iMovie's goodness,  even had a beginning slide of Joshua's foot. I thought he had the cutest baby feet of all (Ha! As a Mom I should've known all moms would think that of their own baby's feet!), but I totally thought I can carry it through and showcase Josh's foot as he grew older.

YouTube was also still growing as back then we had a 100 mb limit (or was it 20??), and that really hindered the quality of the video. At my own computer, the quality of the video is great, but translated, it's a bit grainy. Oh well!

As I watch this back, it takes me to that time of my life, and see the places we've been, the people we hung out with, the events that have happened, and that's where we're at. It's a video album, a snapshot of that time and I think for the next generation, it'll be the way to compile memories. 

Audio: Float On by Modest Mouse

Nathan's Birth Story

A week before father's day, my hubby asked if I wanted to go to San Jose for BBQ for Father's Day. I said I'd rather stay close to home since I'm so close to my due date and want to be close to the hospital "just in case". We decided to then have everyone come up to our place for the Father's Day BBQ. - but do it on a Saturday instead of Sunday My husband also said in passing, "Won't it be funny if you go into labor on Father's Day, just like you went into labor on Mother's Day the last time?" Who knew?

The BBQ went well. Everyone who say me said I was "ripe" but I shrugged them off since I barely had any contractions yet.

4:50 Sunday morning, my contractions started. It was about 10 minutes apart, but bearable. By 6:0 am, they were growing stronger, but still bearable. I even had breakfast and looked at stuff on Ebay. by 8:00, they were even stronger and I told my hubby that we may need to go to the hospital today. I called the Walnut Creek L&D (Labor & Delivery) and a snotty nurse told me to wait until my contractions are 5 minutes apart for a whole hour. That should've been my clue that this day would not go as planned. Every other time I called L&D, they were very helpful and not at all snotty!

So, I wait. My hubby went to prepare the hospital bag while my mom massaged my back in between contractions. Still it was tinkering between 5 to 8 minutes and I hesitate calling L&D for fear of snotty nurse.

Around 11:30, I realized were were going to an hour of 5 minute contractions. I take a shower and told my hubby to call L&D. After my shower I hop in bed, then realized my hubby was arguing with the person on the other line! Walnut Creek L&D tells us they are overbooked and cannot take us. WHAT!? I was devastated. We specifically picked WC because they have Certified Nurse Midwives instead of NPs and it was an ordeal just transferring care. The paperwork alone to transfer there took a few weeks. Then, we had to go to certain classes. We even did the hospital tour. We figured out where to park, what routes to take, where relatives are going to travel from...and now they're telling me that I have to deliver at a totally different location who does not even have our information??!

I was brimming with tears. No way! I already had a horrible experience the last time! Don't tell me after all of that, we are not getting admitted there?! Hubby looked at me and said, "Is Antioch okay?" I pouted, "No" Then, ridiculously, I said, "The contractions stopped anyway"

Upset, I went to nap it off. Josh needed a nap as well, so we were all in bed.

1:00 pm. A contraction so hard it literally rocked me awake. I gasped and told hubby, "We have to go. NOW! I don't care where" Then right there, my husband made the call and we were on our way.

In the car, we typed up the address but our nav is so old and the facility is so new that it did not register. Fuck it! We'll see the hospital signs! So off we went - with only a vague idea of where this hospital is.

I'm glad my mom was there to hold me while my contractions get harder and longer. I've never felt this much pain in my life. The whole morning I was able to just do breathing through contractions. This time, I was crying out in pain. Literally crying like a little girl. It's a good thing hubby kept calm.

Where the hell is this hospital? It seemed like we've been driving forever. "Are we close!?" I cry . "We're almost there" Hubby said calmly. In the meantime, my mom try massaging me from the seat behind.

We finally get to our exit. My contractions get harder. My cries louder. We follow the H (Hospital) signs. I try holding it in, but I feel like a baby is coming out of me any minute now. "Here it is!" hubby says. I looked and couldn't help but scream, "That's NOT Kaiser! That's a different hospital!!" Contraction again. My mind was struggling. Should we just go in and have our baby there even if that is not my insurance? "I don't think we're going to make it" "We're going to make it. Hold on" He turned to a Rite Aid to ask for directions. I cry. My mom calmly says, "We're going to make it, Nathan is just trying to position himself" This time my cries are so loud it's the kind of cry you do when someone is KILLING you. A hysterical type cry.

What seemed like an iternity, hubby comes back and says it's close. We eventually get to the Hospital. We drive to the ER and both hubby and mommy get me it. A guy tries and helps me to a wheelchair. He asks questions. Hubby answers them. Do you have your drivers liscence? Kaiser card? No. No. But it's a good thing I have my medical record number memorized.

I kept my eyes closed almost the entire time. At this point, almost everything is a blur. I remember them wheeling me to L&D. I remember them asking me all the stupid questions like "What happened with your last pregnancy? How come you ended up with a C-Section?" Also, they asked the crucial question: Do you want to try a VBAC or a C-SEction?" I scream, "I don't know!!! Will someone check me?" I was so frustrated because I felt like the baby is coming out and I'm not sure what stage I'm at! Then suddenly I hear someone say, "I see the baby's head!" then, "You're fully dilated and at 0 station. What do you want to do?" "What is safer?" I ask. "Both can have complications" They say non-commitally. Then a very intense contraction came. "C SECTION!" I yelled out. I just wanted the pain to go away. Ok. They call the emergency c-section crew. I hear paperwork being shuffled. You need to sign a consent form, someone says to me. Sign here. Where's the anesthesiologist? Someone cried. All the sound - was loud, but seemed muffled to me as a blur of activity happens around me. Then in my mind, I remembered my last c-section and panicked that it's going to take long.

Another contraction. I screamed in pain, "I'm pushing!!" It wasn't my choice. My body was doing it. Someone looked and said, "The baby is coming!! Are you ok to try this vaginally? This baby coming right now" I nodded. Then even more of a blur. I had my eyes closed the whole time - just concentrating on holding my husband for dear life. They told me not to scream, to concentrate all the power in the pushing. I don't even know how I was doing. I was just following what I heard. When the said push, I pushed. When they said stop. I stopped. I was sweating like crazy. I hear good cheers all around. You're doing it! Just a few more and he's going to be here! Ok, I hear one of the nurses say, here it is, the ring of fire. Push! ARGH!! It was just as she described it. I felt my vagina was on fire.

Then I heard the doctor say, "You have to open your eyes. You have to see your baby being born." I open my eyes and in the last push, Plop! There it was! My baby. The plopped him right on my stomach and the relief and the pain all went away. I could not believe my eyes. Nathan was here! I barely remembered the placenta coming out, but I did glance at it. The doctor stitched me up and even though that hurt a little, I felt so high, so relieved. Thank God!

The best thing about this experience (ok, not the best, but a perk!) was that after everything was done, I asked the nurse if I can eat. She said, "Of course! You can eat anything." Gleefully, I asked for a cheeseburger. I devoured that thing and I don't think I stopped eating for 2 days straight!

So there. That's Nathan's birth story. Much different from Joshua's but the end is the same. The moment you hold the baby in your arms - everything. All the pain goes away, and it didn't matter if I delivered in a different hospital or that there was much drama, all that mattered is the little bundle of joy in your arms.

I'm Attracted to That Guy

It dawned on me today that I'm attracted to the same type of guy. that guy. By that guy, I mean the mold of Heath Ledger.

Everyone who knows me knows that I've had a crush on him for the longest time. My heart was crushed at his passing. I've always said my attraction was because of his sexy voice, his shyness and utter un-comfortability at fame, and his acting skills. But I realized that I just think his whole look is hot. And as I think about other celebrity crushes I have...they're all very similarly looking. For example:

Damien Rice. Yes, I was drawn by his songs, his album "9" is all kinds of good! but I also think he's kind of hot! I've done my "phase" of watching his performances. I even felt really bad when he broke of with partner Lisa Hannigan (whose beautiful voice accompanies him on most of his songs in the album "9").
Then there's TK of the Amazing Race. Yes, he looked like a hippie, but I was attracted to him the whole season and was glad that he won. Of course, there's also the fact that he was a good boyfriend to Rachel and did not bicker with her throughout the race.

And finally, Jeremy Davies. He plays Lost's Daniel Faraday, and from the moment he appeared, I was immediately attracted. We don't really know if Daniel is a good guy or a bad buy, but he does have a good heart - and he plays this very well.

So what is the common denominator? Is it the beard? God knows I'm not into beards - but somehow, these men carry them well. I also think gruffness is part of it. I've never been into the clean cut handsome kind...but hmm...I wonder who will be next. I still need to fill the voids on my "list".

Goodbye Loves

Wow. This week has been kind of a shocker. First, I find out that Heath Ledger has passed. What!? I couldn't believe it at first. I mean, I was just thinking last week how of all celebrities, he's been consistently on my list. I just think he is so handsome, and talented. God, at 28 too, he was just a boy. And what about his little girl? I tear up at the thought of a two year old losing her dad. It's very sad.

Secondly, I find out that after 12+ years in Broadway, RENT will shut down it's doors in June. What!? I couldn't believe it too! RENT is a NY tradition for me. I know I've seen it countless of times and even my aunt has told me that I should go watch something different - but RENT has been so close to my heart that every time we visit the big city - we have to have to line up for lotto! We have to have to wait at the stage door! It's so sad. I won't even get to see it one last time before they close. But even if I won't see it live on Broadway anymore, it will forever be in my heart.

No day but today...

Bag Love #3: Mango Bag

This bag is a small leather bag. It's the size of a clutch but with a strap. I can only really stuff my wallet, cell phone, camera & a lipstick in it, but it's really really cool.

It's a MNG Mango bag, my only one. Given to me by Gel, it's one of my favorite small bags. I love it's color. It's not the typical brown leather, the brown is so light it's almost mango colored. The "worn" leather is soft to the touch. It's good for work as well as a night out in the town - coz...yeah, I go out a lot. (heh. that was sarcasm, in case it did not translate.)

Bon Voyage Helen!

Helen leaves for Hong Kong today, and we are all sad.

Helen, I want you to know how awesome you are. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. You are! Not only are your beautiful on the outside (smile so infectious) but you have the kindest heart. As you start this next chapter of your life, remember that we are all here missing you but also happy that you are now doing something for yourself. You are following your heart, your dreams, your gut, your future.

May all your dreams come true, whether big or small, because you deserve it all.

Moca Simpson

Taking a cue from Smokedog, I decided to Simpsonize myself. Pretty fun! I'm cool as a Simpson - haha!!! Come on, do it...and email me your photo. Here's the link: Simpsonize Me

Recycling, It's not for Everyone.

I'm a postin' machine! Let's see how long I can keep this going.

So apparently, in Florida they do not recycle. That was Lina's bit of info for me yesterday. Can you believe that? If they want to recycle, they have to drive 40 minutes out of town to the nearest recycling center! What? Recycling is so much a part of life here in California that I think we do not even think about it. When I have a can, I automatically dump it on our recycle bin. Next time I fill my blue bin, I will think of you, Florida peeps.

4 Lunches and a Boo Doll

It has been a good month for me. I know I complaint a lot, but that's just for fun. I've been kind of low on funds considering the amount of lunches I've been doing lately. But what's a little money compared to good company? Almost every week (or more than one in a given week) I've spent time with people leaving, who I will miss dearly, to people I haven't seen in a while, who I've missed sorely.

Last week I had lunch with Helen & Lizette, which sad to say was probably our last lunch together (no! Let's have lunch one more time before you leave, Helen...call me!!!), but it had also been a while since the three of us hooked up and I had the best time. It brought back memories of how much we really enjoyed each other's company.

Today, we had lunch with the Juice Guys - Sam & Dave (or Dave & Sam), different company, but same great time. Dave is one of those guys that can make you laugh so hard you are crying. I miss that. It's also kind of fascinating that even with the passing of time, people do remain the same, and you can pick back right where you left off. And yes Sam, I do remember the Boo Doll Ebay Sales days. Those were good times.

Here's our pics...only Jo was not paying attention:

Joshua & Lorenzo

Today was the MBH Kids Christmas Party! It was Joshua's first so we all went. I found out the it was the first time my hubby has been in MBH in the 6 years I've worked there. Oops, didn't mean to ban him!

Anyway, this is a pic of Joshua and his friend Lorenzo - Lina's baby. We were able to nab Santa's chair the minute it freed up. Click click went the cameras as we tried to "pose" them. Heh heh, I think they were confused as to who the other person was, and why we deemed them "friends" and forced them into uncomfortable poses for our own pleasure. This was probably for us then it is for them. At 6 months, they don't even know what Santa means. But they will never be this old again (and this agreeable), so here's to our memories of Christmas 2006.

Happy Birthday to my Sons

Happy birthday to Blue who turns 3 years today! The big baby got 2 rib bones which was from the BBQ hubby did a few days back, and so we know its dee-licious! I also got him a bag of chicken jerky from Costco. Yummy.

Happy birthday to Joshua who turns 3 months today! After a whirlwind week of activities (from his baptism to a trip to Napa - shown in pic), he's just happy to be chillin' at home today.

My Birth Story

Although I haven't really been telling stories in this blog, I want to make an exception to this one. It'll be long. It's very graphic so reader discretion is strongly advised. It's my Birth Story...

It all started Saturday, 5.13, day before mother's day. The previous day I spent all day shopping and was exhausted. Saturday, I planned to relax because the next day was Mother's Day and my family is throwing me a baby shower as well. I was sitting on my bed, folding clothes and watching Brokeback Mountain. When I stood up, I noticed an oreo sized water stain. Hmm, that's can't be my water breaking, I still have a week to go, plus, it's too tiny to be it. Watching Sex & the City and Friends, I know there'll be a gush of water, so I was a little apprehensive but continued on my day.

That night, around 4 am I went to the bathroom but noticed the bed was a little wet. Hubby said I better ask the OB-GYN if that is my water breaking. I called - and a doctor returned my call. He didn't think it was, but did say to call him back in the next two hours to give him a progress report. At 5:10 am, I felt it. A gush of water coming out and not stopping. I knew for sure this was the bag of waters. I tried to page the doctor again, but he didn't call back right away.

As hubby started preparing the car, I ate my last meal. I knew when I got to the hospital, there would be no eating for me. I tried to stall for as long as possible, but when the doc called me, he said I should get to L&D (Labor & Delivery) right away.

We got in around 8:00 am and a wonderful english nurse named annette tended to me. In tow was a nursing student. Annette checked my cervix and said I was 3 cm dilated, 90% effaced and at about a -2 station.

Half an hour later, my OB-GYN came by to say hi. Unfortunately, unless I got into active labor in the next few hours, he won't be able to deliver me because it's Mother's Day and he has a thing. The on-call doctor we'll name Dr. S. I was disappointed since Dr. S was not one of my doctors, so I hoped he would be good.

At 10:00 am, Annette checked my again and there was no progress. my OB-GYN suggested I go home for a while but annette said I should just stay. It looks like the ETA for my labor would be around 3 am. And so we stayed. I took a shower there and walked around a bit...

The day dragged on. I was progressing very very slowly. Even annette was a bit concerned. By 7:30 pm, I was only about 6 cm dilated - when supposed to be, once I reached four, I would be dilating at a much faster rate.

Shift change. Wendy is my new nurse. She's very nice as well. I asked her about medications. They were concerned about giving me a epidural because I'm progressing so slowly, it might make things slower, and we do not have much time. I have to have the baby before 5:10 or else we'll be going beyond the 24 hour mark.

A few hours later (I forget the exact time), Dr. G (the anesthesiologist) and Dr. S came by and said we are ok to do the epidural if I want. I said I was concerned that it'll slow an already slow process. Dr. S said that it might actually help since maybe I'm not dilating fast enough because I was tense from the pain. So, sure ok.

Hubby watched as Dr. G inserted the big ole needle. Of course, my luck, he had to do it twice since he couldn't find a space the first time around. I felt relief from the pain.

Sometime later again (midnightish?), there was talk. Doc said that they're giving me pitocin and if I still don't dilate, we should consider a c-sec. Hubby asked doc at what point should we call it quits, but the doc was vague and told my hubby that it was his (doc) decision as to when we should stop trying [this made hubby outraged but that's another post]. At this point, I'm starting to panic and prayed that the pitocin would work. Hubby fell asleep, I couldn't. They've turned down the lights and I can see Wendy monitoring me.

Then I was feeling it. Definitely, something was going on. I was hurting...feel like contractions are stronger. I told Wendy what I felt and she gave me an exam. She said I was about complete (yay!) and she called Dr. S. Dr. S did the same exam but said my station was still high so we should wait and not push.

Now this was the hardest part of the evening. As the contractions became stronger and stronger, it was so darn hard not to push. I was holding on to hubby for dear life and did all those breathing things we talked about. We did this for 45 minutes - seemed like an eternity. I tried. I really tried. But Wendy kept giving me an out. If you really feel like you have to push, then let's push, she keeps telling me. The she said that I probably wouldn't push for too long because the baby looks like it's headed down.

And so I push. I'm sorry, this is the hardest part. Hubby has my one leg and Wendy the other. She kept saying encouraging words to me: That's a girl! Good Job! and so I thought things are going ok. I did wonder why we started pushing without the doc but at that moment, I was very confused. We pushed for two hours to no avail. So she got the doc and explained to him what happened. No words were said but I knew he was not happy. He checked and said that the baby was still too high, and implied that we shouldn't have started so soon. He also said I wasn't pushing with all my might. What? I wanted to smack him.

Then after another hour, he decided to lower my epidural. Um, hello! Why wasn't that thought of sooner? He also wanted to increase the pitocin level. The nurse kept telling him that if they give me more, my blood pressure will drop but he didn't seem to listen. So, sure enough, my stats beeped like crazy.

Then, with what seemed like hours of pushing he said that the baby is turned up and that he needed to turn him around but he's too high up to do that. He told me to push some more and said that I wasn't pushing with as much intensity because, hello - it's been three hours. He said the first two hours didn't count because I wasn't doing it right.

It was all a blur. I was in too much pain, yet I wanted to just finish it. I've been in labor at that point for more than 24 hours and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I prayed with all my might to have the strength - but it wasn't meant for me. By 6:00 am - Dr. S still wanted for me to push, but the nurses pulled him aside and told him that we are beyond the 24th hour and my fever was very high and we (baby & I) might end up having infections.

When Dr. S said it out loud, tears started rolling. It won't stop. I couldn't believe that after all that, it wasn't over. Wendy kept telling me I did a good job, but I was numb. All feelings have risen to the surface. My face was calm but inside I was bawling. I asked for some ice chips because I haven't eaten in 24 hours. But of course I couldn't have it coz now I'm going into major surgery.

The surgery table is as hectic as I imagined - all these people, all for me. I kept asking if I'm going to feel it. Dr. G said I won't, but when I felt the incision, I started to panic. It wasn't that painful, but boy did I felt it. I felt them moving my guts around. I saw hubby trying to peek. Then I heard it. A little cry. Then some whispers. Then a louder cry. Hubby squeezed me. I heard congratulations. I saw him in the corner of my eye as they showed him to hubby. The told hubby he can follow them to the nursery, but he stayed by my side. I was still in tears. I didn't hit me yet that I just had a baby. When everything was over, the doctors told me I did the best I could, and that I was marvelous. Joshua Alfonso Do was born on a Monday, May 15, 2006, 7:30 am. He weighed 7 lbs., 10 oz.

They wheel me to the recovery room around 8:00 am and said I had to stay there for two hours. It was the longest two hours. I kept staring at the clock. There was one nurse with me. I was so thirsty. I ask for ice chips but at first she said no. I felt trapped. I wanna see my husband. I want to see my baby. Later, she said. So I stared and stared at the clock.

Finally at 10:00 am, they wheel me to my room. I see hubby and my family there waiting for me. They were all smiling and yet I couldn't muster a smile. He's gorgeous, mom says. But all I can say is, I haven't even seen him yet. They give me words of love and encouragement but I wasn't really taking it in. But then they wheel Joshua in. My eyes wander to the little bundle of joy and then it hit me. I've just had a baby - and he is the cutest thing ever. My heart filled with love that I couldn't quite explain. In that moment, the pain, the struggle of the past day just melted away. What did it matter how he came out? He's here and he is love. My eyes filled with tears again - but this time, it was tears of joy.

My Bathroom

Since I've been having conversations with most of you (yes, you!) about home improvements / remodeling, I've decided to open up and show a little about myself - ahem - my home. This is our guest bathroom, which we've been slowly remodeling since we got the house 3 years ago. It's no dwell-home, but trust me, it's an improvement to what was there before.

Being in architecture, I had high hopes in remodeling when we first got the house, but as real life would have it, my hubby does not share my views regarding design. So, there's been a lot of compromising. The color palette we could agree on was a neutral one: creams & browns with punches of color.

Our favorite place to get tile is the Import Tile Company in Berkeley. We got our floor tiles there - and - we installed it ourselves! Pretty good for people with no installing experience whatsoever. The shower curtain & mirror I got from Target. The medicine cabinet from Ikea. And the magazine rack is from the Container Store. The one thing I love about this bathroom? The dark brown paint on the sink cabinet. I love love love deep brown. Alright. End of sharing!

Our Neighborhood Garage Sale

Today we had our Annual City-Wide Garage Sale. It's the first year we are joining as a seller, and it was an experience both good and bad.

We started preparing our garage at 7:30 in the morning. In our court, 4 houses were doing it, so already in the morning was an atmosphere of fun / anticipation. I had high hopes that I'll be able to sell a lot of our junk including our Loveseat, bookshelves, bikes, old TV and other stuff. Right away, I realized that we were total novices. 1) Our prices are too high! Why did I think someone would want to buy my old pajamas for $3? What ended up happening, $.25 a set. Ha! 2) We wasted $20 registering to be an "official" seller when none of the houses in our court did it. 3) The layout of our stuff wasn't conducive to selling. The clothes should either be laid out or hanged instead of in boxes.

But it was also a good experience. The atmosphere was neighborly and fun and we got to talking to one of our neighbors (which we normally don't do). In the end we sold $150 of stuff and got to clear out our garage a little and gain some experience for the next year. Next year, we'll rock. We'll totally have a storefront and categories and stuff. Yeah.

Petchitecture

Tomorrow is the annual Petchitecture event and I'm really bummed I won't be able to go. I've gone, I would say, 3 three times and every time I had a great time! The last time I was able to bring my dog Blue and let him socialize. Haha. Lucie last minute said she'd give her ticket to me, but the way I'm so exhausted in the past few week, I probably won't be able to enjoy. Plus, I'm too big and weak to make sure my 120 lb. dog behaves.

I feel our firm always puts out an excellent piece of furniture for the event and this year is no exception. This year, MBH is putting out a piece dedicated to the dog, since it's the year of the dog. I only wished I was part of the team. Well, there's always next year.

Birthday Boy

Blue turns two today! As a birthday treat, we took him to the Carquinez Straight for a little dog run. But because it was so hot - we were all pooped.

Sleepin' Blue-ty

Blue was probably about 8 weeks old in this photo. He was so cute then. This was the only picture i ever got of him sleeping. Because he's a light sleeper. Any footstep woke him up. Look at his little paws!