Review of the Second half of Breaking Dawn

I'm finally done with Breaking Dawn, so here is my review of the second half, also known as Book 3: Bella (the Vampire)

I must preface this by saying I did not want Bella to become one of them. Of all the possible "happy ending" to the Edward and Bella saga, Bella becoming a vampire - to be with Edward forever - I thought was not only silly, it was not creative enough. The interesting dynamic of the two was because one was the hunter, the other - the prey.

So, in Book 1, I was actually optimistic that horny Bella wanted sex so much that she was willing to prolong her human life so she can experience this over and over again. Silly, but I was grasping at straws. I wanted her to prolong her life, so sure, sex away lusty human!

But Meyer had different plans. And yes, I did love Jacob's point of view in Book 2 and at best I was resigned to the fact that I will be reading about Bella the vampire in Book 3. So, I took a little while from reading to adjust to that fact then resumed.

Book 3, I feel is a whole different saga. It's a whole different vibe, a whole different Bella. It felt so detached from the first 3 books. To me, this was more like reading Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire (which I mentioned a few posts ago). The Last Vampire was written to the point of view of the vampire: Sita. It was a good book. So, yeah, I gave this a chance.

For the most part, I was into it. I did think Jacob was cute with Renesmee, and this was all about Renesmee. The whole book focused on how the Cullens were going to be slaughtered by the Volturi because they thought that Renesmee was an immortal child (ugh, I won't even explain ths nonsense - just know that it was a "law" they supposedly broke). So, everything is building up from this. And I am in it. I'm right there with Bella. As a mom, I understand Bella's need to protect her daughter. I feel her pain, her anxiety, the different scenarios running through her head. How does she keep Nessie safe? The steps she took, from getting her the fake birth certificate, to practicing to fight (because she won't give up without a fight!).

Suddenly, it was making sense and for a split second, I thought Meyer was a genius. That was why she set the Volturi up in New Moon. We get to see the fall of the Volturi in the hands of Bella! And why won't she win. Meyer was alluding to it all along: how you can't read her mind, how her shield can protect and project. Even Renesmee has powers! Bella may have had her doubts, but I didn't. I knew the payoff was near...and then came the most anti-climactic ending to a book. EVER.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!?? After all that...all the reading...all that build up...all that harnessing of her power...the Volturi walks away??? NO. There was no way. No fucking way! You mean to tell me, I had to sit through and read all about these other vampires from God knows where - and their specific powers, mind you - with names and baggages of their own, to have them just walk away? You mean to tell me all the pages reading about how Bella stretched her fabric shield for her not to even use this power to kill Aro? I read paragraphs upon paragraphs of how Bella snuck away to get Jacob & Nessie proper papers so they can run away and be safe then the backpack (where she hid all of this) didn't leave Nessie's back? You mean to tell me after all of that, Meyer whips out a few more unknown vampires the same as Nessie and Aro goes, "Oh well! Sure, I believe you, oh random guy from the south" Let's all pack up eh?

That was not an ending. For what it's worth, that was an introduction to the Jacob / Nessie show. So, I'm confused. Why did Meyer leave it all open ended like that, only to stamp "The End" on the very next page? Why even introduce that the new guy we see - the one to save them all - eye Nessie like he wanted to tap that? Eww! She's a baby!!!

I'm not done. The book may be done, but here are my other nit-picks:

1) Bella resigned to die if Edward dies. I have a big problem with this. Bella, you have a daughter. You don't get to decide that you will die if Edward dies.

2) Renesmee will grow until she looks about 18 then will stop growing and stay the beautiful age of 18 forever. Really, Meyer. How convenient. What do you have against middle aged vampires? There must be some lolo vampires out there...

3) Bella was a super-vampire. Again, how convenient that Bella as a newborn was the best! She didn't even kill anyone (or felt the need to!)...not even stupid strangers like J Jenks. And..AND...she's got the shield thing going on and learned all her powers within a month!

4) Bella super loved being a vampire. Ooh, vampire sex is so much better than human sex. Ooh, vampire kissing is soo much better than human kissing. What-ever! I would rather see her having some remorse to her human life. All the other vampires would've given up everything to be human again...

5) What happened to Renee?? Did she never just try to find out what is up with her daughter? Hello, apparently she was deathly ill!! And, Bella never made an attempt to contact her mother even though she thought she was going to die? She made an effort to spend Christmas with charlie! What, no time to call her own mother to say, Merry Christmas!? What a fluke to name your daughter after her and not care the slightest about her.

6) What happened to the Cullens? In a weird way, even though they were present in the book, I hardly felt them. In Book 3, did we ever hear Rosalie? Did Esme even speak? Where was the sexy debonair Edward? He seemed like a non-entity here.

7) Shape-Shifters?? Ugh, puh-leez.

8) Charlie not wanting to know what's going on with Bella is Meyer's easy way out. It was like she didn't know how to get Charlie involved that won't derail her story, because, really - you, as a dad, would want to know what was going on with your daughter. I just don't buy that he'd look the other way. I would buy him making Bella tell him then leaving it be. Meyer needed Bella to be as pure and not disobeying the law as possible.

9) Saccharin-sweet ending. Bella gets everything she wants: Edward and Jacob. A beautiful daughter. A relationship with her father. An automatic affinity to be vegetarian. A shield. The ability to keep her thoughts private.

Comments, Clarifications & a Review of Breaking Dawn (the First Half)

So first off I'd like to give props where props were due. It was Lina, of course, who first told me about Twilight. She said it was such an easy read. I remember thinking ...Vampires? I'm not really into scary stuff. What she should asked me right then was, "well, you're not into scary stuff, but are you into hot sexy guys?" The answer would be: Yes.

So, Lina, since you sold me on this, I will also take your advice and Netflix True Blood as soon as it is out on DVD.

Comments & clarifications from my last two reviews:
1) New Jacob - Okay, I know I dissed Taylor as Jacob and even thought that for me, comparing Edward to Jacob was like comparing Lost's Sawyer to Michael. No contest, right? Yes, I was harsh. But now that I'm almost done with the series, I did have a change of heart and now, I do love Jacob as well. I think I love him the same was as Bella does, like a little brother. And because of this, I don't really know if I'm in the "change Jacob" bandwagon. Michael Copon apparently is vying for this job and his blatant self promotion - and porn-like half naked poses - makes me dislike him even more. I now realize I like my Jacob the way he should be; a never aging 16 year old.

2) I whole-heartedly agree with Gel's take on Kristen Stewart's Bella. Bella is supposed to be down-to-earth and funny, and not a frowning totokamus (sorry for the Balki reference. I couldn't find a better word). I hated the perma-frown. Smile, girl. Show us why you're the luckiest girl on the planet! Here's hoping Kristen loosens up in New Moon and just...lets...go.

3) Edward/Robert's performance - Okay, I did get a lot of flack for being too harsh, and wanted to clarify that although I did have my issues...I loved loved loved Robert's Edward. He's the reason to watch Twilight. He makes vampires sexy and a much better actor especially next to Kristen.

On to Breaking Dawn...Spoilers Abound

Book 1: Bella
This book focused on Bella & Edward's wedding and their subsequent honeymoon. It's really just a set-up but I loved it anyway. Instead of the usual running away from the vampires, we get a peek a what it would be like for a human to be with a vampire. The wedding that Bella didn't want but ended up liking....to the "first time"...

It was a "fade to black" moment. I forgot I wasn't reading Mills & Boon (hey, not that I ever read those...), but yeah, of course we don't get a play by play - but if actually worked out because through Bella's eyes, you only feel the glorious portions and not the physical pain that having sex with the undead can cause to your bones...Nevertheless, I enjoyed it.

I loved the small amount of time where they were just in love - but I knew from the first paragraph, that she was going to be pregnant. [Because in the Young-Adult book world, sex = pregnancy. The reality is that you are really only fertile one week at best in a month, but I digress...] I loved the small moments, the little smiles, when they enjoyed each other as they are.

Edward's reaction was almost unforgivable...I know he knew that the spawn would hurt Bella, but as I woman, there is that maternal instinct to love your baby no matter what and hope your partner is there with you no matter what....

I loved it. Just that part alone was better for me than New Moon & Eclipse combined.

Book 2: Jacob
It look a while to adjust that I was reading Jacob's narration instead of Bella's. I would be reading and then I'd stop. Wait. What? Oh...Jacob thought that. But I got the hang of it and, it was great. I was never a big fan of Jacob, but this actually turned things around for me. Because you can see from his point of view, you can feel the hurt of loving someone who doesn't love you back...not that way (and that's really the worst!), the jealousy and anger toward your enemy but your ally also in most ways.

This book picks up where Bella left of. We find Jacob as he finds out that Bella is back. He is apprehensive - how would he feel seeing her as a vampire, or dead? How would he kill the Cullens? And Meyer did a great job at creating his emotion, his pace, as different from Bella's. I felt for him...and that's when I realized how integral he was not just to Bella's life, but to the story as a whole. This was no ordinary love triangle. At this point, Jacob was more interesting than Edward.

Oh how love rules. When Sam, the Alpha male decides to kill Bella's unborn child, I thought: Jacob, hello, you're the Alpha. Be the alpha. He does and we get to see Jacob be there hero this time. A reluctant hero, but a hero still.

And Seth. Love that little kid. Gel emailed me this cute cute pic of a baby siberian husky and think of him as Seth. Out of all the supporting characters, he was one what was just easy to love. (Emmett too for some reason, I loved right away). Do I have to talk about Leah? After all, Meyer took a lot of time discussing her love triangle with Sam and Emily, a woman Sam "imprinted" on ... Anyone? Nah.

But the end of this book got me. Jacob, thinking he got 3 more days with Bella before she gives birth and dies, suddenly panics when the baby wanted to come out now. All of a sudden, he did not have a few days, he did not have a few hours. This was it. This is when she dies, or worse, becomes one of them. It was overwhelming, it was fast, and he gave his blessing to Edward, to save Bella by letting her become a vampire. The anger as he walked away, the hatred to the monster that ended the life of his love. He went to the baby - ready to kill her. Then he saw her.

That last page got me. The symbolism of the balloons being cut as his ties to all that he was - disconnected. Everything he knew and loved and was. None of that mattered because something else has holding him to where he stood. It was Renesmee.

Bravo, Stephanie. That alone made up for everything that I thought I hated about Jacob. Of course, I smack the side of my head, he imprint's on Bella's spawn. This was the finale that made sense. With everything that I hated about the imprinting bullshit, this made sense. This saves the baby from the wolves, and it makes for an interesting story.

Book 3, I'm guessing will be all about Renesmee. Bring it on!!

Review of Eclipse

So, I'm done with this book and here's my review:

The probably best part about this book (and all others) is that you can't put it down. As much as a lot of the little things irritated me, I couldn't stop. I love me some Edward, and here... I'm beginning to re-like Jacob as well.

Then it gets confusing since although I love the series, a lot of little things bug me that I even wonder why I like it, why I keep reading, why I hunted down a copy of Breaking Dawn on the first day of the year instead of just relaxing. (It was not in the two (2!!!) Targets I went to and eventually bought it at a Barnes & Noble at suggested retail $25!). Today, I called and found a Target that carried it, drove down to Richmond, bought it for $17, then trudged back to Barnes to return the expensive one.

Bugging Item #1: Edward is a Prude!
Even as I read Twilight, (see review below) it was obvious to me that Edward was written as Meyer's perfect man. To me, yes, there's a lot of stuff I loved about the pureness of Edward's love, but come on! Bella's throwing herself at you, give in a little!!! Every time he stops a kiss or a move, I just want to slap him already.

Bugging Item #2: Bella is a whiner!
Wah! I love Jacob, but i'm not in love with him coz I love Edward! Wah, I can't believe Edward is making me stay away from Jacob because he is a warewolf! Wah, I'll get myself into trouble nevertheless! Wah, Jacob is in love with me! Wahhh!!!! Girlfriend, get a grip. Bella is the kind of person who invites drama. Because really, in the real world, if you know the person you don't love is madly in love with you and yet you go out of your way to give him hope (but say you don't give him hope) is cruel. Then, when Edward does not show jealousy, she can't believe it. *sigh* Also, she claims to love her parents to the point of dying for them but yet she want to end her life now so that Edward won't out-young her when she does become a vampire. I know she gives some reasons - but they're not good enough reasons for me.

Bugging Item #3: Classic Novel "Theme"
In New Moon, it was so obvious that they were going to tie in the Romeo & Juliet to the plot of the story. The moment they mention Wuthering Heights, I roll my eyes (to no one in particular, maybe to my dog, but he didn't get it) coz I know that at the end, they're going to tie it into the story. Predictable!!! Come on, should I expect to see Catcher in the Rye to be mentioned in Breaking Dawn?

Bugging Item #4: The I'm-Sorry Phenomenon
It seems to be everywhere in this book! Jacob time and time again does / says something to hurt Bella then calls a day later to apologize and says how much he really is in love with her. Bella does the same for Edward, she'll blatantly goes to La Push even though she knows that there are vampires looking for her and then apologize for it later. Edward apologizes for all the vampires that are now running after them. Bella apologizes to Jacob for all the bad things that were happening. Bella apologizes to Edward (and vice versa) for loving him too much. For a 600 page book, it was too much.

Bugging Item #5: No Character Development
A) I wish Bella was more developed and had more than these two sides: 1) I love Edward 2) I love Jacob. Why can't she be a character who was in love with a vampire but still aspire to be a doctor? Or hell, get accepted to Harvard? Won't it be a more compelling story if she has to find the right balance between loving a monster and still wanting a life / kids? Won't it be interesting to read about (let's say in book 6) for a 30 year old Bella remains to have a relationship with someone who wasn't aging? How about kids? The fact that she's just willing to die right now really bugs me - and her logic...There's none.

B) I wish Edward was more than just a handsome vampire that won't put out. I wish he had other things to say than "I love you Bella" and other things to do than protect her. We get it, he loves her - after that 2,879th time, it get's a little boring. The best part about the book for me was his interaction with Jacob but yet again, nothing seems to faze him. I love Edward and did not want him to be one-dimensional.

C) I wish Jacob didn't make a turn for the whiny wolf that he's become. He's a bit better now and I agree that objectively, he would be the better choice for Bella, but he was just annoying at times there. Again, other than his "coming out" that he loved Bella, there was really nothing else going for him.

But, it was an enjoyable read, and I did love the scene at the tent. Here's hoping Breaking Dawn would be the best book of the series!

Twilight Merch

Happy New Year Everyone!

This is my second Twilight post. I must be obsessed. Anyway, so I find out that Gel got a "Team Jacob" shirt for Christmas from Jax and it was really cool. It said: Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? And Team Jacob in the back....so I was a little bit jealous so I searched high and low for a good Team Edward (well of course!) shirt for me. In my search, I found some funny ones...some jabs on Team Jacob. My favorites were:

I went to Forks and all I got was this lousy imprint (shown above)

Yes Jacob, your being half naked does bother me.

Bella: Luckier than you since 1989

Jacob Black, I want to La Push you over the Cliff!