19.1.09

Review of the Second half of Breaking Dawn

I'm finally done with Breaking Dawn, so here is my review of the second half, also known as Book 3: Bella (the Vampire)

I must preface this by saying I did not want Bella to become one of them. Of all the possible "happy ending" to the Edward and Bella saga, Bella becoming a vampire - to be with Edward forever - I thought was not only silly, it was not creative enough. The interesting dynamic of the two was because one was the hunter, the other - the prey.

So, in Book 1, I was actually optimistic that horny Bella wanted sex so much that she was willing to prolong her human life so she can experience this over and over again. Silly, but I was grasping at straws. I wanted her to prolong her life, so sure, sex away lusty human!

But Meyer had different plans. And yes, I did love Jacob's point of view in Book 2 and at best I was resigned to the fact that I will be reading about Bella the vampire in Book 3. So, I took a little while from reading to adjust to that fact then resumed.

Book 3, I feel is a whole different saga. It's a whole different vibe, a whole different Bella. It felt so detached from the first 3 books. To me, this was more like reading Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire (which I mentioned a few posts ago). The Last Vampire was written to the point of view of the vampire: Sita. It was a good book. So, yeah, I gave this a chance.

For the most part, I was into it. I did think Jacob was cute with Renesmee, and this was all about Renesmee. The whole book focused on how the Cullens were going to be slaughtered by the Volturi because they thought that Renesmee was an immortal child (ugh, I won't even explain ths nonsense - just know that it was a "law" they supposedly broke). So, everything is building up from this. And I am in it. I'm right there with Bella. As a mom, I understand Bella's need to protect her daughter. I feel her pain, her anxiety, the different scenarios running through her head. How does she keep Nessie safe? The steps she took, from getting her the fake birth certificate, to practicing to fight (because she won't give up without a fight!).

Suddenly, it was making sense and for a split second, I thought Meyer was a genius. That was why she set the Volturi up in New Moon. We get to see the fall of the Volturi in the hands of Bella! And why won't she win. Meyer was alluding to it all along: how you can't read her mind, how her shield can protect and project. Even Renesmee has powers! Bella may have had her doubts, but I didn't. I knew the payoff was near...and then came the most anti-climactic ending to a book. EVER.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!?? After all that...all the reading...all that build up...all that harnessing of her power...the Volturi walks away??? NO. There was no way. No fucking way! You mean to tell me, I had to sit through and read all about these other vampires from God knows where - and their specific powers, mind you - with names and baggages of their own, to have them just walk away? You mean to tell me all the pages reading about how Bella stretched her fabric shield for her not to even use this power to kill Aro? I read paragraphs upon paragraphs of how Bella snuck away to get Jacob & Nessie proper papers so they can run away and be safe then the backpack (where she hid all of this) didn't leave Nessie's back? You mean to tell me after all of that, Meyer whips out a few more unknown vampires the same as Nessie and Aro goes, "Oh well! Sure, I believe you, oh random guy from the south" Let's all pack up eh?

That was not an ending. For what it's worth, that was an introduction to the Jacob / Nessie show. So, I'm confused. Why did Meyer leave it all open ended like that, only to stamp "The End" on the very next page? Why even introduce that the new guy we see - the one to save them all - eye Nessie like he wanted to tap that? Eww! She's a baby!!!

I'm not done. The book may be done, but here are my other nit-picks:

1) Bella resigned to die if Edward dies. I have a big problem with this. Bella, you have a daughter. You don't get to decide that you will die if Edward dies.

2) Renesmee will grow until she looks about 18 then will stop growing and stay the beautiful age of 18 forever. Really, Meyer. How convenient. What do you have against middle aged vampires? There must be some lolo vampires out there...

3) Bella was a super-vampire. Again, how convenient that Bella as a newborn was the best! She didn't even kill anyone (or felt the need to!)...not even stupid strangers like J Jenks. And..AND...she's got the shield thing going on and learned all her powers within a month!

4) Bella super loved being a vampire. Ooh, vampire sex is so much better than human sex. Ooh, vampire kissing is soo much better than human kissing. What-ever! I would rather see her having some remorse to her human life. All the other vampires would've given up everything to be human again...

5) What happened to Renee?? Did she never just try to find out what is up with her daughter? Hello, apparently she was deathly ill!! And, Bella never made an attempt to contact her mother even though she thought she was going to die? She made an effort to spend Christmas with charlie! What, no time to call her own mother to say, Merry Christmas!? What a fluke to name your daughter after her and not care the slightest about her.

6) What happened to the Cullens? In a weird way, even though they were present in the book, I hardly felt them. In Book 3, did we ever hear Rosalie? Did Esme even speak? Where was the sexy debonair Edward? He seemed like a non-entity here.

7) Shape-Shifters?? Ugh, puh-leez.

8) Charlie not wanting to know what's going on with Bella is Meyer's easy way out. It was like she didn't know how to get Charlie involved that won't derail her story, because, really - you, as a dad, would want to know what was going on with your daughter. I just don't buy that he'd look the other way. I would buy him making Bella tell him then leaving it be. Meyer needed Bella to be as pure and not disobeying the law as possible.

9) Saccharin-sweet ending. Bella gets everything she wants: Edward and Jacob. A beautiful daughter. A relationship with her father. An automatic affinity to be vegetarian. A shield. The ability to keep her thoughts private.

1 comment:

Gel said...

CONVENIENT-LANDIA.

1. I hated how sumg Bella became as a vampire. It's like she got inside the "In Crowd"and never looked back. She was willing to leave her mother and father behind to become a vampire...I thought she's being a huge bitch and if Bella had a sister, or someone else who didn't patronize her, she'd give her a piece of their minds.

I think Stephanie thinks she's Bella that's why she gave her everything she wanted. In telling a REAL STORY, ya need to compromise some things in order to achieve a good balance.

first, she must struggle being a new vampire.

then, Edward must hate Jacob. He doesn't understand "imprinting"...it's a warewolf thing.

Then, Jacob must be conflicted being in love with a vampire. Sure, he loves renesemee but he must hate hanging out there.

Edward became lame in comparison to Bella. Ugh. He should've been a hero still. He should've been a part of their success. I'd love for him to be mad a Bella for doing the whole J Jenks thing behind his back. What was the use of that whole J Jenks thing anyway???

Someone should kick Bella's ass.

Renesmee's growth needs some kind of system. I think she owes us a better explanation than just "it stops growing when it hits it's prime" YEAH RIGHT.

Charlie and Renee should've died or something for everything to make sense how they didn't really mind her transformation. They should've been killed by Vampires or something so she has a reason to want to be one and seek revenge. Otherwise, Renee being fine with FIRST her 18 year old daughter MARRYING AT 18 to her handsome boyfriend of what? months? Then to not care to see her afterwards?

Imagine Charlie looking at Jacob transforming in front of him and him just shrugging and saying, "Oh. You turn into wolf, huh? Okay, so what you're telling me is that I've lived in MYSTICAL LAND all my life and I didn't even know. WHATEVS. Oh, and there's another thing? Bella's a vampire with a vampire baby, huh? NOT. EVEN. CURIOUS. AT. ALL."

UTTER BULLCRAP.